Too busy to take a sales call, I'm updating my status

Wow, just what I needed, another social media platform.

I was only blogging via twitter on the merits of facebook over linkedin the other day when I realised something was missing in my life. Google + and the circles.

Somewhere else to write messages about the cake on the office kitchen top. Done with the hope you click on a URL, follow us or like us. Needy much...

If I walk past a member of my sales team and they're on facebook, they better be on lunch or it's the naughty step. If there on twitter is that different? Are they "working" or is it shouty time?

Can we all spare the hour in the day whilst all the team set themselves up on a new platform with profiles, pics, wire ups, links?

Yes, I can see the double standard here, moaning about a new social media platform on a social media platform but my technical director @DavidHHazzard is a massive fan of keeping it simple. He drives this belief into everything we do at NewZapp Email Marketing. Surely were at saturation point here? These wheels (or circles, satire.com) have already been invented.

I for one, have a new google + profile. Of course you'll need to open a google account if you don't already have one, or request a password for the one you've not used in 5 years to see it. (is that my penny on the floor or yours? well played Google!)

Do I have to comment, tweet or whatever it is now on Google + too? just incase in god knows how long Google + the new [insert existing social media platform here]

I enjoy a tweet and linkedin snooping whilst my mum likes to keep an eye on me on facebook. If anyone can convince me Google + is the future I'll RT, post, blog or comment an apology to the Google ivory towers.

Was the grass as green as you were lead to believe?

Remember when your parents told you not to do something because you'll hurt yourself or the dreaded "you'll be sorry!" What did you do? that's right, you went ahead and did it anyway. It's human nature, everything needs to be experienced to be appreciated, even pain.

Loads of phrases in life have been spawned due to our "need to experience" and then subsequent disappointment in the result. Whether it be a scuffed knee because the bmx ramp was too high after all or replacing one item in your life with a potentially better one.

If it isn't broke......

Was the grass as green as you were lead to believe?

Our need to experience is a strength but it can lead us into a decision we ultimately regret. Sometimes we have no choice, sometimes we're blinded by the shiny promises.

When I speak to returning customers at Newzapp Email Marketing one of the first things they say is "we tried company X but didn't like it" or "it was just too complicated" Changing your Email Marketing Software provider happens, just like changing your car insurer.

Your customers will need to experience the green looking grass at sometime too, stopping them in an aggressive manner will solve nothing.

Trick is to welcome all returning customers like we do at Newzapp, without judgement or a tone of "i told you so" in our voices.

Moral of the story, don't be a sour puss when your customers say they are leaving you, wish them well and thank them for there time with you. They believe what they are doing is right for them so don't get mad trying to convince them otherwise. They may have to experience the pain for themselves to appreciate how good they had it with you.

If they fall over you'll be the last one they look to for a plaster for their scuffed knee if you've slammed the door shut behind them.

make like an orange and SEGMENT!

I love Bon Jovi - there I said it.

On June the 27th I'll be stood in the Diamond circle at Ashton Gate (Bristol City's football ground) for concert number 15. I've seen them all over the UK, shared a hotel bar with the band and the greatest moment of my life was meeting lead guitarist Richie Sambora.

And lets not talk about the tattoo...

Yesterday I received an email newsletter from Ashton Gate asking if I'd like to order Bristol City's away shirt for next season.

2 problems with this early doors.

1. I support Blackburn Rovers
2. I've never been to a Bristol City game, or could tell you where the ground is as yet (google map job on the day!)

Why, when graced with my details, have the marketing department at Ashton Gate not performed the simplest of tasks and popped me in a group called "concerts" Have the 11 season ticket holders received an email about Bon Jovi?

Targeting your data is one of the most important thing you can do in email marketing. It makes even the smallest database pack a powerful punch.

Stop moaning about the fact you've sent 10'000 emails and had no replies, send 1 email with content that the reader can relate to and see the difference. Spend some time segmenting your database before you write the killer email, you'll be suprised how much it effects what you write.

Keep the Faith

Darren "I love you Richie" Hepburn

Remember - You're the boss!

I've mentioned in a previous post that in a previous life, I was a publican.

One thing I remember from those glass polishing amateur psychology days was how we treated customers differently. The classic cliché of "the customer is always right" was obeyed as part of good service but never at the expense of the business. So my question is.....

"When was the last time you told a customer to get out?"

Back in the day, my pub was MY PUB. In my eyes the customers were extremely lucky to be patrons of such a fine establishment. If you didn't like that, as my regulars would have told you, please don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. As publicans we did things slightly differently, yes you were a valued customer, but we were the boss, not you.

We had a pride and belief in our product and venue, if you stepped out of line we'd simply refuse to serve you. This transferred itself onto other customers, allowing them to take pride in the success of the pub too.

Ok, I know, I'm waxing lyrical. (Queue the hovis music.) But we seem to spend longer arguing and dealing with difficult customers than we do helping the good ones. Pride and belief has turned into fear of loss and the customer has all the power.

You are the provider, they are the customer. If you don't want to do something, say no. If they don't want to pay for your high quality product it's there loss, not yours. They'll probably throw the toys out and threaten to never darken your door again, but they will, and they'll be much better customers second time round.

Treat your business like a publican treats his pub. Its the best service and value in the world and the customers need look no further! I bet that's what your website says about you already so it's time to put that into practice. And if they give you any trouble......

Get out, you're barred.

What would you do to reach your goal?

Back in my publican days I would have an ongoing argument with my regulars about what they would do for a million pounds. My favourite one being

"would you let someone cut off your little finger for a million pounds"

Would you? I would! £1'000'000 for a little finger sounds a total bargain. Think about those poor people who lose fingers by accident, they'd give their right arm for it (der dum tish)

If you think about it (taking crime and family pain aside) is there anything anyone of us wouldn't do for a million quid?

Really think about it before you climb onto your moral high ground horse. No mortgage, no stress and no fear of the financial future. Deep down, in your heart of hearts, you know you'd hand over the cigar cutter yourself uttering the words "make it quick"

OK, so now we know what you'd do it for £1'000'000. Would you do it for half that? I would! Still a bargain in my book. What about yours.......

What I love most about being a human (and I know those of you who know me may question that) is just by reading this you've already thought of one thing you'd do for a million quid, it's disturbed you, but you've already justified it with the images of a nice house and car. Once you have a goal in mind its just a matter of what you're willing to do to achieve it.

What would duncan bannatyne, lewis hamilton or richard branson do to achieve a goal? Would andy murray give you his little finger for the wimbledon title?Are certain people able to switch off the "buts" and "ifs" running through their minds when their striving for a result.

Is the only person in the way.......you.

When was the last time you said - "now that's Genius!"

Yesterday I went to the kitchen cupboard for some vinegar and the bottle had a spray atomiser on the top instead of the traditional lid. I thought to myself "now that's Genius!"

I've been putting vinegar on chips for about 25 years (yes, probably more times than I have should during those years) and at no stage did I think about adding a spray top.

25 years of cursing at an over vinegary chip, 25 years of drowning all the chips in a sea of vinegar and yet it never crossed my mind.

What sort of mind does it cross? do you think you're that sort of mind? I did, but I can't remember the last time I had a truly brilliant idea. Can you?

This week my goal is to find something that will make my MD go "now that's Genius!" ("have a pay rise!" ok, maybe pushing it now)

I hope the vinegar spray top inventor is sat on a beach somewhere right now thinking about the next thing that will make me say "now that's Genius!" But in the meantime, lets all stop living with vinegary chips and think of a better way to do the job in hand

the newzapp guy